On reaching the 28th year of my life, I have decided to share a few of the lessons I have learnt in my short but colourful life. Living almost two lives , one in Bombay and the other in Aberdeen has taught me a lot, so I wanted to put down a few words of wisdom to my fellow countrymen that would put even Yoda to shame...
- Whenever you are going out clubbing on a Saturday night, and there is a slight chance you might hook up with a beautiful woman there... never wear your longjohns !
- Never try using British Slang to sound cool in a conversation, because sooner or later your Bombayia accent will slip out , especially when you least expect it to.
- Never try out the Blazer-Tshirt-Jeans-Sneakers look...Just because it worked for Jay Sean doesn't mean it will work for you!
- Never attempt to be Scottish and wear a kilt in public, your legs are too skinny and hairy!
- Never go to the toilet to take a piss, when you are cooking a spicy curry!
- You will NOT look as good in a lambswool sweater as the Scottish model in the magazine advert!
- No matter how much of Axe/Lynx deodorant you spray on yourself, IT doesn't do what it says in the advertisments... partly because if you are an Indian living in the UK, in an unventilated house, your jacket will always carry a slight whiff of last nights curry!
- Never ever laugh at the fat police officer who is trying to get over the wall to bust your New Years Eve party at 4am!
- No matter how good you look, how well you dress, how well you get along with the ladies, how rich you are or in which part of the world you are currently living in , your mother and a few obscure aunties are still lining up a few 'homely girls' for you back home!
